You ever get to the point in your life when no one else gets why you’re not happy? You lose the weight, find a husband, live in a nice house, drive a nice car, play chaperone to nice children and you make a nice salary at a job full of seemingly nice people, but you’re not happy. I’ll never forget when I found myself stuck, stumbling and waiting for something to happen to me. But I didn’t quite know what it was that I was looking for.
For all intents and purposes, I should have been “fine” because my life was a far cry from the housing projects, basements, foster homes and shelters that once served as a temporary home as I progressed through the hoods in life. And my life was a far cry from the possibilities of what could have happened if I had succumbed to my inner me that always questioned who I thought I was to seek better, who I thought I was to speaker greater and who I thought I was whenever I raised my hand to do more than before. However, I was not happy.
Sulking in the Suburbs
I tried to start a business, but after 2 years I ran back to a law firm. I then joined a few MLM companies only to find that I wasn’t quite interested in building a team so eventually I wondered off. I found myself depressed, but I smiled through it. I mean who would ever have pity on me when I had done the unthinkable and left the ghetto. So I sulked silently in the suburbs.
But God has a way of redirecting your attention by making you see differently; especially when you don’t listen to his whispers or pick up on his hints when he allows things to happen over and over again. So while I was a bit spiritually dull, I was jolted wide awake when I got a telephone call that one of my younger sisters had ended up in the hospital and had a bad prognosis.
Do Overs
As soon as I could return to my sister, I was by her side asking her what happened, who did it and why. I was shocked to know her response about the self-infliction of the wound because of her unhappiness with the life she lived. I was shocked to know that I couldn’t resurrect her or help her to see differently because unbeknownst to me I had the same hopeless foreboding except I wasn’t bold enough to make a difference in my life. I didn’t want to make change possible, nor did I have the courage to confront those who hurt me. Instead, I tried to cheer her up and tried to help her see brighter days despite the darkness surrounding her.
Working it Out
While counseling her to think differently, God began working on me by reminding me that the wisdom that I shared with my sister was meant for me as well. But I didn’t get the memo until a few weeks later, I found myself in the hospital desperately hoping that I had seen my last days because I felt in my spirit that my divine assignment to make change possible was incomplete. Though I’m still figuring out who I am and what God wants from me, I’ve made the commitment to step up, step out and boss up in every aspect of my life. In so doing, I fully recognize that my life is God’s gift to me and what I do with is based on my ability to believe, overcome, seek and seize what I need to make my voice, vision and vocation matter. Similarly, as the boss of your life, story and destiny, you must do more for you to make your life matter to you.
Your Turn
Personal Assessment: Are you allowing your good work to go undone? Are you living the life that reflects the goodness, mercy and brilliance of the God in you? If you answered no to any of these questions it’s time to boss up your mindset so that you can get God’s results. Just know, shelf help doesn’t work without self help. Accordingly, find a way to think, speak and do better for you to show up as a better version of you.